We have one real dumbass political system here in the UK. I mean, what the hell is this shit? We got two options: a bunch of far-left posers pretending to be conservatives or the labour party who are full-blown commies. It's like choosing between a turd sandwich or a diarrhea milkshake, ain't no real choice here.

We don't actually have a democracy. I mean, what kind of democracy is it when we ain't got no real choice? It's like they're just putting on a show for us, like we're watching some kind of sick reality TV program. And the worst part is, we're the ones who gotta suffer the consequences of their bullshit decisions.

Because of this shit show as a result we have all this woke liberal crap that seems to be everywhere nowadays. I mean, what the actual fuck? Has everyone gone completely mad? It's like we're living in some alternate universe where up is down and left is right. These SJW snowflakes are so damn sensitive that they can't handle any kind of criticism or differing opinions. And don't even get me started on these damn hashtags and emojis. Is this really how we communicate nowadays? What happened to good old-fashioned conversation?

It's no wonder the UK is going to pot with all this nonsense going on. We need some real leaders who ain't afraid to speak their damn minds and take some real action. We need some common sense, some backbone, and some damn integrity. But until we get that, I'm just gonna keep on ranting and raving, 'cause somebody's gotta do it. #DownWithTheSystem #RealTalk #Woke #Politics 👎🏼

I've only gone and done it! I've only gone and got myself a vintage motor!

It's a proper beaut, it's a 1967 Ford Cortina GT. I bought it for a bargain price from one of my gipsy mates, who I met down the local bookies. He's a proper character, he's never lived in a house in his life, he just lives in a caravan. Fair play to him though, he's always got a good tip for the horses.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Will, are you sure it's fully legit?" Well, let me tell you, it's as legit as they come. I've got all the paperwork and everything. Although, I did notice the MOT expired in 1983, but that's just a minor detail.

I'm picking it up this afternoon and I can't wait to hit the road in it. Although, there is a small chance that it could be a death trap or even a toy miniature car, but I'm willing to take that risk. I mean, you can't always fully trust a gipsy, can you?

I hope it doesn't fall to bits on the way home, but if it does, at least I'll have a good story to tell. Maybe I'll end up pushing it all the way back to my house. Who knows?

I'll keep you updated on how it all goes. In the meantime, if anyone needs me, I'll be cruising around in my vintage motor, living the dream. #VintageCar #GipsyMates #LegitAsTheyCome #DeathTrap #CantTrustAGipsy #WindInMyHair #LivingTheDream

So, I was down't chippy t'other day and there was this woman outside. She was nattering away to herself and chucking chips at people. But did I judge her? Nah, course not. I figured she must've been a bit poorly in the head. Poor lass.

But then, out of bloody nowhere, this group of black teenagers burst onto the scene. And let me tell you, one of 'em had a noggin the size of a bloody boulder. I reckon he's got some serious insecurity issues, 'cause he was all up in this woman's face, giving her a real hard time.

And then...THEN...he bloody well smacked her in the gob! Like, proper punched her. I've never seen anything like it. I was fuming. This woman was clearly vulnerable and this lad was acting like a right twat.

So I did what any good Samaritan would do. I marched over to him and gave him a right good talking to. Told him he should be ashamed of himself, the daft sod. But then...oh lordy...his mates started getting all lippy with me. And one of 'em, I swear flashed a bloody knife. I wasn't sticking around for that, no sir.

But before I scarpered, I grabbed a bottle of ketchup from the chippy and squirted it all over 'em. It felt bloody brilliant, I won't lie. I hope they had to go home and explain to their mums why they were covered in tomato sauce.

Anyway, moral of the story is, don't mess with me. And if you see a vulnerable person getting a hard time, stand up for 'em. And if all else fails, chuck condiments at the bullies. It's a tried and tested method, believe me. Now all joking aside these thugs could of killed me so I would not suggest doing any of this.