So, I was walking down the street the other day, trying to avoid stepping on any cracks in the pavement (because we all know what happens when you do that, don't we?), when I found myself behind this old geezer. Now, this guy was walking at a snail's pace, shuffling along like he was trying to win some kind of world record for slowest pedestrian ever. And then, out of nowhere, he let out the biggest trump I've ever heard in my life. Honestly, it was like a foghorn going off in my ear. I mean, I've heard some pretty impressive farts in my time, but this one was in a league of its own. Anyway, his missus (or at least, I assume it was his missus) was walking alongside him, and she turned to him and said, "What was that noise, Howard?" And you know what the old codger said? "Oh, must have been someone's car exhaust." I mean, seriously? Who did he think he was fooling? Unless there was some kind of souped-up car with a farting engine cruising down the street, there was no way that noise came from anything other than his own backside. But here's where it gets even funnier. Just as I was trying to stifle a giggle, this little toddler who was walking past at the time points and yaps out, "No bad man makes trump noise!" and starts laffing. I mean, talk about calling someone out on their BS. This kid was a straight-up savage. And then, to top it off, the old woman turns to him and says, "You have lied to me for the last time!" and storms off in the opposite direction. I couldn't help but wonder what other weird lies this guy must have told her during their marriage. Maybe he convinced her that he was a secret agent for MI6, or that he once wrestled a crocodile in the Amazon. Who knows? All I know is, that was one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed on the streets of Sheffield. And let me tell you, I've seen some pretty weird stuff in my time. But this? This took the biscuit. Or should I say, the fart. #Sheffiled #Banter #FARTS