Got stuck in a lift today...

So, picture this, I'm minding my own business, just trying to get to my mate's apartment on the 14th floor, when all of a sudden, the lift stops. And who's in there with me? A fat bloke, an old women, and an Indian guy with a big rucksack that smelt like a takeaway.

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly thrilled about being stuck in a small space with three strangers. But hey, what can you do? I hit the emergency button and we wait. And wait. And wait some more.

Forty-five minutes pass and we're still stuck. The fat bloke is sweating like a pig and I swear I heard him do a trump. The old women is asking the Indian guy what's in his rucksack, thinking it's a bomb or something. And the Indian guy, bless his heart, is just minding his own business, trying not to get too close to the sweaty bloke.

I mean, what a situation, right? Here we are, stuck in a lift, with no idea when we're going to get out. And to top it all off, we're all starting to smell a bit ripe.

But finally, after what feels like an eternity, we hear the sweet sound of the lift doors opening. We pile out of there as fast as we can, desperate for some fresh air.

So, moral of the story? Always take the stairs, folks. You never know when you're going to get trapped in a confined space with a bunch of strangers. And if you do, just hope you don't get stuck with a smelly Indian guy and a trumping fat bloke.

Has anyone else been stuck in the lift before? or any other funny tales to share?

Iv not been stuck in a lift recently but a couple months back was witness to somthing weird... So, I was in KFC tucking into my chicken, when I saw this bloke emerge from the bog with his pants down to his ankles. Honestly, I nearly choked on my drumstick. He waddled up to the counter and bellowed, "Oi oi, I need more bog roll mate, I ran out and need to wipe me arse properly." 

I mean, what kind of a request is that? The poor staff didn't know what to do, it not like they had a secret stash of Andrex in the kitchen. Instead, they just handed him a few paper serviettes to use. 

The man thanked them, waddled back to the bog. Ten minutes later, he emerged again, and this time, everyone was staring and whispering. And then, as he walked out of the KFC, he let rip with the biggest fart you have ever heard. 

I'm talking about a fart that could have launched a rocket into space. It was like someone had set off a foghorn in the middle of the restaurant. AND IT SMELT HORRID. Some people have no shame, I tell you. 

But it got me thinking, what kind of person does that? It takes a special kind of individual to pull off that kind of stunt. 

Maybe it's a new trend, like planking or the Harlem Shake. Maybe the next time I'm in KFC, I'll see someone doing the "Pants Down, Bog Roll Please, and Fart on the Way Out" routine. Who knows? Maybe I'll join in.

Your stories are funny and all but nothing beats the time I was at the pub and nearly got into a fight with a dwarf.

Alright, so picture this. It's a Friday night, and you're at the pub with your mates. You're all having a good time, the drinks are flowing, and the atmosphere is electric. Now, as you're standing at the bar waiting for your order, you notice that it's getting pretty overcrowded. People are pushing and shoving, trying to get their orders in, and it's starting to get a little bit chaotic.

Finally, I manage to get my order in, and I turn around to grab my drinks. But there's a problem. I don't have enough hands to carry everything, and Im getting jostled around by the other punters. So, in my infinite wisdom, I decide to place my pints on the nearest surface available. Which, as it turns out, is a small table next to the bar.

Now, at this point, you're probably thinking to yourself, "What's so funny about that?" Well, I'll tell you. That small table, my friends, was not a table at all. It was a dwarf. A dwarf wearing a hat.

Now, maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just the dim lighting in the pub, but I didn't realize at all it was a dwarf. So I placed my drinks on top of the poor guy's head, and he was not happy about it. He started swearing and cursing, and you could tell that he was getting more and more agitated by the second.

One of my mates then came over to see what was going on, and that's when things took a turn for the worse. The dwarf headbutted him right in the groin, and he went down like a sack of potatoes. 

At this point, the dwarf turned his attention to me. He started making all sorts of threats, saying that you were going to be in a world of pain very soon. LOL!

Luckily, one of my other mates grabbed the dwarf by the scruff of his neck and lifted him up like he was a rag doll. And then, with a flick of his wrist, he threw him across the room like a frisbee.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "That's not very funny, that's just plain cruel." But trust me, it was hilarious. The look on that dwarf's face as he went flying through the air was priceless.

Oh man, that story had me rolling! I mean, sure, it's not the nicest thing to place your drinks on a person's head, but who knew it was a dwarf wearing a hat?! And the fact that he headbutted your mate in the groin? Classic. I can just imagine the chaos and confusion that must have been going on in that pub. As for other mate, lifting the dwarf up like a rag doll and throwing him across the room? I'm sorry, but that's just too damn funny. I can only hope that the poor guy wasn't hurt too badly. But hey, sometimes you just gotta laugh at the absurdity of life, right? Cheers to a good story I needed cheering up!